President Reagan Dies at Age 93

Blessed Be, Ronald Reagan.

 

The Hanged Man

Go give Goldie some love.

 

Her sister is very ill and she is in a state of shock.

 

Wow.

This is getting out of hand.

 

Homeland security is one thing, but this is ridiculous.

 

Low Tide

The West Coast is expecting the lowest tide in 19 years.

 

I can remember being on the Oregon Coast when that happened last time.

 

It is amazing what you can find when the tide goes way down.

 

Wish I was there this time, too.

 

Homemade Tank

Somebody really pissed this guy off.

 

Good Grief

Brent, has this guy been in your jurisdiction?

 

I'm a Goddess!

You are a goddess!


Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

The Draft

Old Karl hit the nail on the head.

 

Too bad politicians aren't as smart.

 

Beer Bash

A few weeks ago, I won tickets to the Beer Bash at Calhoun Square in Minneapolis.

 

Since I don't drink beer, I gave the tickets to Asshole and his buddy (Weasel).  I offered to go as Designated Driver.

 

When we got to the Bash, I paid $8 to get in as a DD. That meant all the free soda, water or non-alcoholic beer I wanted. The tickets I won were worth $28 a piece.

 

The guys got to walk around and sample all sorts of beer.  They had a good time and got to try some beer they had never tried before.

 

I had never been to that part of town and it was interesting to see what was down there.  Calhoun Square is on the corner of Calhoun and Hennepin.

 

There are a few shops I would like to go see when I have time and money.

 

After the Beer Bash, we went to Famous Dave's for some excellent bbq.  Yummy!

 

On the way home, Weasel starts whining he wants some alcohol and we need to stop at a liquor store.  All liquor stores close at 10.  I told him I wasn't stopping.  They didn't need any more alcohol.

 

When we got to town, he was begging to go to the local bar for a pitcher of beer.  Finally, Asshole said he would like to go shoot some pool.

 

I dropped them off and told them they had to walk home.

 

I have a headache and am going to bed.

 

Hope you all have a nice night.

 

Mail Call

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmm!
 
I'm sure you all know what the Darwin awards are and a few of you may have already this year's list but - in case you haven't - they are finally out again. It's an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.

Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.

And the nominees this year in reverse order are:
7. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk.
Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down killing both him and his sister.

6. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6' 2" tall and weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and white saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It appeared that he was trying to create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing a military gas mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to one end of a hollow tube approx. 12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube's other end was inserted into his rectum for reasons unknown, and was the cause of his suffocation.
Police found the task of explaining the circumstances of his death to his family very awkward indeed.

5. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed.
They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.

4. A 22-year-old, Glade Drive, Reston, VA, man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70 foot railroad trestle.
Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped, and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby "The length of the cord that he assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground," Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was "Major trauma."

3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball.
The friend, no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate, was hospitalized.

2. Employees in a medium sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched.
Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as 'bright' by his peers.

AND THE WINNER OF THE 2004 DARWIN AWARDS IS..... (drum roll):
(this one actually hurts to think about)
1. Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course.
Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked to leave the course. Note:  This last one wouldn't normally count, because the idiot didn't die. But because he cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying act of stupidity, we have allowed it.

Until next year...Seize the day!

Mail Call

PHONE PROBLEM
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called-and that on the few occasions
when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog... or the senile elderly lady.
He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog
moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
Which goes to show that some problems can be fixed by pissing and moaning.

Another Meme

Found via Shauna

 

The idea is for you guys to answer these in the comments.

 

1. Who are you?

2. Have we ever met?

3. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

4. Describe me in one word.

5. What reminds you of me?

6. If you could give me anything, what would it be?

7. Ever wanted to tell me something, but couldn't?

8. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

 

Fart Wars

Need something to laugh about?

 

Go read Jake's take on a Fart War.

 

Another Meme

Stole this one from Nee. (I steal from her a lot.  Have you noticed?)

 

1. . Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog?
No way.  No one around here even knows I'm a blogger.

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered?
Not that I am aware of. 

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?
No.  It irritates me.

4. Do you lie in your blog?
What's the point.  Truth is always stranger than fiction.

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?
I don't think so.  Am I?

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?
No.  That's just dumb. 

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping?
No. Probably.

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones?
No, what is there, stays there.  Kind of like Vegas.

9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after?
Rubbed what out?  I'm confused.

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?
No clue.  Probably about the same.  I'm just as bossy in person as I am on the blog. 

11. Do you have a job?
Yep.  Collecting unemployment.

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?
Shit yeah. 

13. Which blogger(s) do you want to meet in real life?
Nee

Acidman

Kel

Irk

Jack

Mel

And of course...Eric

14. Which bloggers have you made out with?
None.  Never even met another blogger

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?
Neither.  I act just as broke as I actually am. 

16. Does your family read your blog?
No way.  Well, actually my future (maybe) sister-in-law sometimes reads it.

17. How old is your blog?
Since last September for this one.  About July of last year for the original.

18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care?
I think I'm getting about 42 now.  And most of those are from search engines.

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar?
No, this one is hard enough to keep up.

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?
Why would I?

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?
Where can I get paid for doing this?

22. Is blogging narcissistic?
Probably.

23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time?
No.  People will get over it.

24. Do you like John Mayer?
Who?

25. Do you have enemies?
Not that I'm aware of.

26. Are you lonely?
Sometimes

27. Why bother?
Why not?

 

Jerk

Last night, someone was searching for: did duke of windsor attention deficit disorder

 

They did not like that I called that young man a flaming homosexual.

 

Let me clarify something.  Some of my best friends in the world are gay.  Male and female alike.

 

But there is no reason in the world to talk like that or act like that.

 

They do it for the attention.

 

It is the same reason that black people use ghetto talk.  They can talk like normal human beings, they just prefer to talk different because they want the attention. (Example: Colin Powell - Any rapper)

 

Same reason Hispanic people talk with an accent.  Even if they have never been south of the border. (Example: Jennifer Lopez - Any of the multitude walking down the street)

 

So, don't bitch at me.  If you don't want the attention, don't act stupid!

 

Fun Times

We went over to the hotel where Asshole's boss is staying tonight.  We went swimming in the pool and sat in the hot tub for about 4 hours.  It was a lot of fun.

 

Then we went over to Perkin's Restaurant.  If you were in there after we got there - I'm sorry.

 

We made an awful lot of noise and had a raucous good time.  There was some guy sitting behind us that was (how do I say this PC?) A flaming homosexual.  You know that guy on Queer Eye?  The blonde one?  He was more obvious than that guy.

 

Anyway, he starts trying to pickup on of the guys with us.  And our friend was having none of it.  It was hysterical!

 

Finally the gay guy left, but we could not stop laughing. We sat there and laughed for another 2 hours.

 

I haven't had that much fun while sober in a long time.

 

Margaret Cho

Everyone knows who Margaret Cho is, right?  The comedienne?

 

I love her show.  But you know what I love even more?  Her blog.

 

That's right.  Her blog.  It rocks.

 

And today, she has a great post about hate crimes and tattoos.

 

She's pretty smart.

 

Plane Crash

This happened about 6 miles from my house.

 

Very sad.  We heard the sirens last night, but I had no idea it was a plane crash.

 

My heart goes out to all the families.

 

Argh!!

I have sent several posts that have not arrived.

 

Apparently Blogger is only accepting some of my e-mails.

 

This is very frustrating.  A couple of posts are very short, they just aren't getting through.

 

Other posts are making it just fine.

 

Wish they would get it fixed!

 

My Cooper

I knew I wanted a Mini Cooper.

 

Now I know why.

 

Cleaning, Cleaning, Cleaning

I'm about 1/2 way done with the garage.

 

Good grief I have a lot of junk.

 

Then, Asshole comes home from his night out.  And immediately leaves again to go play disc golf.

 

Can he install the thermostat like I asked? No.

 

Can he help with the garage? No.

 

Can he be a total asshole?  Oh, yeah.

 

Spring Cleaning

I am doing some spring cleaning today.  Specifically - I am cleaning out the garage.

 

We have just been throwing empty boxes out in the garage.  I'm not sure why.  Got to be a habit about Christmas time when we couldn't even see the garbage can, let alone put stuff in it.

 

So today, I went out and got rid of most of the boxes in the garage.

 

This afternoon, I am going to go through all the stuff in the garage and do a "Clean Sweep".  The charity people are coming by tomorrow. Epilepsy Foundation sends a truck around twice a year and tomorrow is the day. 

 

Hope they bring a big truck.

 

I have stuff in that garage that hasn't seen the light of day in two years.

 

Anybody wanna come help?

 

I Saw A Deer...

I know this isn't an amazing accomplishment, but it is where I saw the deer that is!

 

It was in my neighbor's yard.

 

Now, I live in the middle of town.  In a huge subdivision.  The nearest woods are on the golf course about 1/2 mile away.  To get to my neighbor's yard, that deer had to turn several corners and pass lots of cars.

 

I could hear all the dogs in the neighborhood going nuts, but I assumed they were just being their obnoxious selves.

 

I turned and saw what I thought was a Great Dane.  I went to shoo it off because Snotface (my cat) was outside.

 

I was shocked when I got around the tree and discovered it was a deer!!!

 

She was more scared than me.  I was just shocked.

 

She bounded off towards the direction of the golf course.  I just stood there in shock.

 

Cool!

 

Three cheers for the Cos

Amen

 

This is a must-read.

 

Kiefer Sutherland..

I am watching a movie called Behind The Red Door with Kiefer and Kyra Sedgwick.  It's fairly new (2002), but I have never heard of it.

 

It's a good movie.  He plays an asshole gay man who has AIDS.  Kyra plays his sister trying to deal with him after no contact for 10 years.

 

It's been very good so far.

 

Happy Birthday, Penny!

Today is Penny's birthday.  Or as she calls it - her "Solar Return".

 

Anyway, go wish her a Happy one!

 

Jake's Back

YEA!!!!

 

Jake is back!

 

He had a broken computer.  I am so excited he is back.  He has been one of my favorite reads since the day I found him.

 

TV Tuesday (I'm running behind)

I found this via Tommy.  TV Tuesday on Wednesday.

 

1. In the US many stations run "marathons" all day on Monday, many stations have also went to running all weekend marathons of old sitcoms. So question number one is: Did you watch any of the marathons running this year? In part? In whole?

 

I did watch part of the M*A*S*H marathon on the Hallmark channel.

2. Is there a show you'd like to see run an all day marathon? On the flipside is there a show you'd avoid in marathon?

I would avoid Simpsons, King of The Hill, and most sitcoms.

3. Is there a show/movie/program that brings back special memories for you and what is it?

Not really, no.  I guess I am not that big of a TV fan.

~Bonus~ What show featuring those who protect your country (fiction or non-fiction) is your favorite?

This one is easy - M*A*S*H.  I have all the DVDs.  Even have the movie on DVD.

~Bonus #2~ Out of curiosity, what's the longest you've ever watched TV in one stretch?!

The TV is on almost constantly at our house, so I have no idea.

 

Missing Posts

I am missing some posts.

 

I don't know where they went, but they are gone.

 

I know I have at least two posts in the last 24 hours that have not shown up on my blog.

 

I hate that.

 

Potty Break

What is it about men and bathrooms?

 

While women can spend several hours in a bathroom cleaning up and putting on makeup, a man can spend several hours in there taking a crap.

 

I mean hours.  Asshole spends at least an hour or two every day sitting on the toilet taking a dump.

 

Every man I have ever known spends at least 30 minutes sitting on the toilet.

 

I can barely sit still that long when I am giving blood.  How the hell do they do it?

 

I get in there, get the job done, and get out.

 

Is it because I have squeezed out 4 kids?  And thus have better muscle control?

 

Or is it just because they are lazy and don't want to get off the pot to help around the house?

 

I wish someone could solve this problem for me...It really bothers me.

 

Tuesday is Chooseday

Either leave your answers or a link to your webpage with your responses.

Would you rather:
1. be trapped in a room for an hour with 15 scorpions OR one rabid dog?
mmmm...I think I'll take my chances with the scorpions. I hate dogs

2. grow hairy palms OR go blind?
Hairy palms. That is what Nair is for

3. be addicted to alcohol OR gambling?
Gambling. I would just have to work extra hard.

4. save an old lady from a flood OR a dog from a fire?
Save the old lady.  Just the way I was raised.

Ten Best Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk

 10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

And the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...

1. "Are you here to remind me about my coffee break?"

 

Another Survey Thingie

I know you all know how to do these things... :-) Have fun :-)

1. What time is it?

10:33am

2. Name as it appears on your Birth Certificate?

D'Arcy

3. Nicknames?

Hoochie, drc, Grace, Petunia, Pookinella (Don't ask)

4. Number of candles on your last birthday cake?

37

6. Date that you regularly blow them out?

March 29

7. Pets?

2 Cats. One Black (Spike), One White (Snotface)

8. Favorite animal?

Horses and cats

9. Tattoo?

I have 3. Sparrow on my right shoulder. Hummingbirds on my upper right arm and left ankle.

10. How much do you love your job?

What job?

11. Birthplace?

Albany, Oregon

12. Favorite vacation spot?

Anywhere but here

13. Ever been to Africa?

No, and no desire to go

14. Stolen any traffic signs?

No...

15. Ever been in a car accident?

Yes. Two. One I was a passenger, the second was not my fault.

16. Croutons or Bacon bits?

Bacon bits on everything.

17. 2 Door or 4 door car?

I have a minivan

18. Salad Dressing?

Ranch or 1000 Island

19. Favorite Pie?

Don't really like pies

20. Favorite number?

44 (Hank Aaron's jersey number)

21. Favorite Movie?

Too many to choose. Bull Durham, Too Wong Foo, Exit To Eden, etc.

22. Favorite Color?

Emerald Green

23. Favorite Holiday?

St Patrick's Day

24. Favorite Food?

Pizza

25. Favorite day of the week?

Payday

26. Favorite brand of body soap?

Irish Spring

27. Favorite TV shows?

M*A*S*H, Survivor

28. Toothpaste?

Kid's Crest bubblegum flavor

29.Perfume/Cologne?

Don't wear any

31. Favorite smell?

Patrick right after a shower

32. What do you do to relax?

Answer stupid surveys

33. Favorite Fast Food place?

Wendy's

34. When was your last hospital visit?

For myself? August, 1994

For someone else? March, 2002

35. How many times did you fail your driver's license test?

Originally at 16? Once

Last time I had to test? Zero

36. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Australia

37. What do you do when you are bored?

Write in my blog

38. Furthermost place you sent this message?

No clue

39. Who will respond the fastest?

No clue

40. Least likely to respond?

See Answer to #39

41. What time is it now?

    10:46am

 

300 Comments

Congratulations, Amanda!

 

You made comment #300!

 

Bad News

In January, 1987, I was in Naples, Italy, awaiting the birth of my oldest son (Buttboy).

 

I was staying in the TDY barracks there.  I was actually stationed in Sigonella, Sicily, but all military birth were in Naples.  So two weeks before my due date, I was flown to Naples via a C-130.

 

Buttboy was already a couple of days late.  I was just hanging around waiting for him to be born.  I went daily to the hospital up the hill for the docs to make sure everything was cool.

 

On this day, I had been out goofing off with a bunch of friends and came home to find a note on my door from the Red Cross saying they needed to get in touch with me.

 

Now, everyone in the military knows that when the Red Cross is trying to find you, it is never a good thing.

 

I immediately started panicking.  I was trying to figure out what was wrong. 

 

I finally made it up to the Red Cross office to speak to them.

 

I walked into a small office and sat in the only chair available.  A nice lady came in and took my hand and said everyone was going to be okay, but...

 

My brother had been in a bad accident.  He was alive, but severely injured.

 

He had been hitch-hiking on I-5 just outside of Salem.  He was on the shoulder and there was little traffic.  He later told me he was walking backwards and saw the semi in the fast lane.  There are 3 lanes on each side at that point of the freeway.

 

He realized the semi was not going to stop, so he turned around and kept walking.  That is the last thing he remembers.

 

There was a pickup behind the semi that Brother did not see.  The driver of the pickup said the semi swung over and clipped Brother with the front hub of his tractor.  It caught Brother behind the left knee and tossed him over the guardrail.  His shoe was left on the tarmac, he was hit so hard.

 

The semi continued on down the road, taking out the guardrail for about 100 yards.

 

The driver stopped to help Brother, but radioed on ahead to the weigh station.

 

The semi was stopped at the weight station by State Troopers.  He didn't even know he had hit Brother.  He had fallen asleep at the wheel.

 

Brother was in the hospital for several weeks.  To this day, he can barely stand for more than a few minutes.  He can only walk a few yards before he has to stop and rest.

 

My brother is a veteran.  He was in the Navy during the time Berlin Barracks were bombed.

 

The VA has told him they cannot help him.  The Social Security Administration has denied him disability.  And he can no longer fight the bureaucracy.

 

So my brother is almost homeless.  We all help support him, because no one else will help him.

 

He was willing to die for his country, but his country won't help him in his time of need.

 

That is so wrong.

 

Double Rainbow

There is a double rainbow outside right now.

 

It is absolutely beautiful.

 

Makes you appreciate nature a little more.

 

Salmon Loaf

So, I made the Salmon Loaf.

 

It's okay.  I think it needs something.  I'm not sure what, but it needs something.

 

I'll add extra spices next time, I think.

 

Anyway, supper is over.  Time to think of something for tomorrow.

 

New Button

I have added a new button on my sidebar.  If you scroll all the way to the bottom of the sidebar, you will see a button that promotes We-Fest 2004.

 

Click on it and you can help buy me tickets for We-Fest.

 

Just thought I would make my Wish List a little more accessible.

 

Liberty Weekend

The weekend after graduation from boot camp is called Liberty Weekend.  We are allowed off base for the first time as actual sailors.

 

My mom and dad had come down from New York for graduation.  Dad had to continue on to Arizona immediately (they were moving).  But Mom got to stay for the weekend.

 

We had a great time that weekend.  We went to DisneyWorld.  I still have pics somewhere of that trip.  It was a lot of fun.

 

I had on whites since in Florida that is what they always wore.  So when it started to rain, my shirt was soon see-through.  I kept refusing to put something over the top because I would have been out of uniform.

 

Finally, I gave up.  I was freezing and I was tired of trying to stay covered up with no jacket.

 

Mom and I bought matching sweatshirts and wore those the rest of the day.  I gave mine to her when we parted at the end of the day.  No one ever said a word to me.

 

Geez, I was a dolt!  Of course, no one said a word because no one cared!

 

It was a great time because there were very few people at the park.  It was stormy and mid-January.  Mom and I have always been close, but that weekend really brought us closer.

 

Wish I could do it all again.

 

Wrong!

This is just wrong!

Somebody should just let William Hung fade away into a distant memory.

Wasting My Day

It's all your fault.

 

You got me hooked.

 

Feed Me, Seymour!

I'm bored and hungry.  So, Brat and I decided to do some experimenting.

 

I got out the pumpkin that has been in the cupboard for a few weeks.  There was a recipe on the label for pumpkin pie.

 

Well, we didn't want pie, but I wanted pumpkin.  So we have made the pumpkin pie gizzards, but not the crust.

 

We'll know in about 15 minutes if it is any good.  Sure smells good.

 

I know this isn't typical Memorial Day food, but since Brat and I are alone, we can eat whatever we want.

 

Tonight, I am making Salmon Loaf.  Never made it before either.

 

Ought to be interesting.

 

This is what Memorial Day is about.

 

Blessed Be, Cpl Dunham.

 

Boot Camp

It was November 5, 1985.

 

I flew to Orlando with a few of the other people from MEPS in Portland.  We were all extremely nervous.  I actually sat next to someone I knew.  We hadn't seen each other since we were kids, so it was kind of cool.

 

We were all extremely nervous.

 

When we landed, they separated us - guys and girls went different ways.  They processed our paperwork and got us semi-organized.

 

I would like to tell you what else happened that day, but I have no clue.  It is all one big blur.

 

I remember standing in a big line and getting our uniforms. They had taken our measurements earlier and put them on a card we held in our mouth.  We walked around a room with our duffels held open in front of us.  People just dumped our clothes in our duffels.

 

There isn't a whole lot I remember about Boot Camp.  I do remember a lot of marching.

 

I remember getting up 1/2 hour earlier than everyone else so I could wrap my chest in Ace wraps so I wouldn't bounce all over the place while running.

 

I remember one girl screwing up over and over on purpose because she wanted out.  She got a blanket party. I did not participate.  I was scared shitless.

 

I remember the Chief Petty Officer getting another girl and myself confused all the time because we looked alike.

 

I remember the day it snowed.  In Orlando.  Ice storm and all.  It was so icy, we weren't allowed to drill on the ship.  They were afraid we would hurt ourselves.

 

And I remember the pride on my parents' face when I graduated. 

 

Joining The Navy

Since today is Memorial day, I was going to post a picture from my military days, but couldn't find one of myself.  Only of al my buddies.  So, instead of posting a pic, I will just tell about my Navy days.

 

I joined in 1985.  I had spent a semester in college, then moved back to my hometown.  My father was in town for a few days and had been ragging on me about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

 

What he didn't know was that I had been spending a lot of my spare time with the Navy recruiter.  Just hanging out with him and enjoying his company.  I don't even remember how we met, but he was a good friend.

 

Finally, I said to him, let me in.  And I went for my physical at MEPS in Portland.  I was scheduled to ship out in 2 weeks.

 

So, the night before I was to leave on the train for Portland, my dad starts ragging on me again.  I simply looked at him and said, "Don't worry about it. I leave for the Navy tomorrow."

 

He was stunned to say the least.  Then he told me that he would be taking me to Portland.  He would not let me ride the train.  I think it was one of the few times my dad was truly proud of me.  Oh, he says he's proud of me all the time, but I know he was proud that day.

 

I guess that was the day he realized I was no longer a little girl.

 

I was 18.

 

Light A Candle

Show your support for our troops and honor those that have made the ultimate sacrifice by lighting a candle on Monday, May 31, 2004 at 8:00 p.m. Iraq time (Pacific – 9am Mountain – 10am Central – 11am Eastern – 12pm)

 

Tough Chicks

I found this via Jack.

 

I meet almost all the criteria.  Except I am neither petite, dainty nor beautiful.

 

But I can clear a bar.  And I prefer most days to drink Windsor and Cokes.  I don't like margaritas.  Ruins the tequila.

 

Hmmm...his definition of a Tough Chick seems to be centered on physically attractive women.  Tough Chicks aren't always physically attractive, but we always get laid.

 

My Dream

I had a weird dream last night and just wanted to write some of it down.

 

I was in my grandparent's house.  All my male cousins were there.  They were all smoking in the house.  Cigarettes and pot. (None of my cousins smoke anything, that I know of).

 

I yelled at all of them to get it out of the house. I even took cigarettes out of their hands and threw them out.

 

Then I went in the bathroom to go pee and there was a towel laying across the toilet.  I asked why it was there and the guys said one of the cousins had left it there.  He came in and got it.

 

Then instead of going pee, I got in the shower.  But there was no water pressure.  While I was in the shower,I noticed a large lump on my stomach.  Right where I have a mole.

 

I freaked out and showed my mom, but she blew it off.  She said we would wait a few days to get it checked out since it is Memorial Day.  By this time, we are in Salt Lake City in a parking lot. It was very warm.

 

Then I was in an airport with Asshole waiting for a plane.  We had creatures with us.  Mine was called a "Swim".  It was in a cat carrier.  They told me I could take it on the plane with me and stow it under my seat.  It was all brown and fuzzy and in water.

 

We had separate seats on the plane, but when I got on, I found there were lots of extra seats.  Where I was supposed to sit was a window seat next to two black guys.  There were no white people on the plane. 

 

I sat down in the aisle seat where Asshole was supposed to have a window seat.  Only it was the emergency exit aisle and there are only two seats there.

 

They locked the plane up and started to taxi.  I started yelling that Asshole wasn't on the plane.  I couldn't find him anywhere.

 

Suddenly, the stewardess announces that we have to go back to the gate.  There was a KingAir that landed late and we were going back to get more passengers.  When we got to the gate, I tried to get the attention of the stewardess.  Finally, I got off the plane and was talking to the lady at the gate.

 

As I was explaining to her that Asshole was missing, I saw him come running up to me wearing his coat.  I was so glad to see him.  We got on the plane together.

 

I woke up.

 

Pretty weird, huh?

 

Weather

What a dud!

 

The big storms we were supposed to have never materialized.  It didn't even sprinkle here.

 

I see it rained pretty good up in the Cities. They can have it.  Our river is already almost to the top of it's banks.

 

Actually, it was pretty nice today.  Got to be about 73 degrees.  Light breeze.  Pretty nice.  Would have been a good day to go fishing.

 

But since I refuse to bait my own hook or take the fish off the hook, I can't go fishing without Asshole.

 

What am I doing for Memorial Day?  Nothing.  Sitting on my butt watching the world go by.

 

Same shit, different day.

 

What are you doing?

 

Round 2

Okay, Brent, ready for Round 2?

 

I see storms popping up all around us again today.  Gonna be another fun night at the top of Tornado Alley!

 

Thunderstorms

We had a huge thunderstorm roll through the area last night.  It rocked and rolled around here from about Midnight until about 6 this morning.

 

There was a couple of times that the thunder was so loud it woke me out of a sound sleep.  It was amazing to see the lightning and hear the crack of thunder at almost the same time.

 

I haven't seen any news yet, but I am sure there were tornadoes spawned by that storm. It was pretty intense.

 

The Brat didn't even know it stormed last night.  She must have been sleeping pretty hard.

 

How was your night?

 

Happy Birthday!

Markiss is an old man today (but not as old as me!)

 

Make sure you go wish him a happy birthday!

 

Boredom

I am so bored.

 

It is a little after Midnight.  There is a hug storm just west of us. Should be here sometime in the next hour or so.  Lots of warnings with this one.

 

Buttboy is playing Grabbed By The Ghoulies on XBox.  It is actually my game, but he is further along than I am.

 

The Brat is asleep.  She fell asleep on the couch while watching Trading Spaces.

 

Asshole is out drinking.  Who knows when he will be home?  That's okay, gives me quiet time to myself.

 

I guess I'll head to bed.  Too bored to do much else.

 

Have a good night, all.