gsp Thoughts From A Diva: 10/15/06 - 10/22/06

Thoughts From A Diva

Random images and thoughts from a misplaced Minnesota Diva trying to survive in Wisconsin.

Saturday, October 21, 2006


Melissa Etheridge: "Melissa and Tammy Etheridge are delighted to announce the arrival of their son Miller Steven and their daughter Johnnie Rose on Tuesday October 17, 2006. Tammy and the babies are in excellent health."


I have been trying to avoid bitching on my blog lately, but I just need to if you don't want to hear it - stop reading!

A couple weeks ago, Pat pulled the refrigerator out from its normal spot and said, "I need to clean behind it before I put it back."

Okay, I agreed with that.

After two weeks, I was sick of walking around the damn thing. So I pulled it and all the other appliances out from the wall and started cleaning.

I was about half way done mopping when he decided to come butt in. He told me that it wasn't clean enough. He needed "to finish cleaning it" before I could put the appliances back.

Now he has taken the cleaning completely over. I should be happy about it, but it irritated me. He kept making snide little comments about "how hard is it to..."


So now I am blogging because he has told me to "go take a break" so he can clean the kitchen properly.

Emergency Response

Johnny has a post up about an emergency medical situation that happened at work.

It got me thinking about my parents. See, they were EMTs about the time that old show "Emergency" came out. They had to go to training once a week for like 8 weeks or something. They had the coolest book they brought home. It was orange and it had pictures and instructions for almost any kind of medical emergency.

The pages I remember most are the ones with the guys eye hanging down on his cheek. Literally. He had his eye poked out and it was laying on his cheek attached by the retinal cords.


Now my brother has decided to become a First Responder. He is going through the classes. Mom says it is a lot different than it was when they had their training.

I should think so.

Anyway, I hope if I am ever in that situation I can respond as well as Johnny did. As a mom, I have seen my share of medical emergencies, but that is different. When it is one of your kids, "Mom mode" takes over. I don't even have to think...just take care of the child.

I take that back - I did panic once. When Anthony hit the parked car (long story) and he was laying in the road bleeding. The paramedics were already there. And all I wanted to do was get to him. I had to be physically restrained from trying to get to him.

That is a day I will never forget.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Bomb Threat

As the Dixie Chicks would say...I'm ashamed you are from Wisconsin.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

School Bans Tag

Mass. Elementary School Bans Tag

Are you kidding me? Part of growing up is playing tag and learning how to play nice. If you don't play nice, no one plays with you. It is that simple.

What kind of society are we raising that we won't even allow our kids to play games at school?


On Mammograms

This is hysterical! Make sure you read the whole thing...

This is a cute way to send "the message"!
There is a serious message at the end, but you get to laugh on the way there.
Now go out and have your mammies grammed!

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.

So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.

After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"O.K," I said, "let's do it."

"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!

My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!

"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.

"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.

It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.

Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.

If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"

This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out!

Mail this to 13 other females. :o) Now, don't break the chain! One female
broke the chain, her plumbing became so bad, she now has an outhouse!

OK gals, now that you have had your laugh, remember...

BreastCancer Awareness...

Go have those boobs checked out and stay healthy! Pass the
message on to your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, cousins, friends --
and even your enemies -- because the WORST enemy is Breast Cancer!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

LogoThere are:
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Monday, October 16, 2006

McGraw 2012

I'd vote for him.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Vote for Tiffany

Please! Go vote for Tiffany.

She is the niece of Bonnie.

Gooooo Tiffany!!!!!!


As most of you know, I am not a religious person. I am very spiritual and believe in a higher power, but I do not believe in organized religion.

My father is a retired minister. I never knew he shared my views until I recieved this email today.

...I am convinced that most organized religious practice is no more than attempts to gain power over someone else. Understand, this is not a reference to peoples attempts to develop their faith, and to help others develop theirs. That is not religion, but spirituality and theology.
But the whole concept of having an ordained ministry, and bishops, superintendents, etc., has to do with power, not faith. The most important book around today for the Church is Fred Craddock's book, "As One Without Authority." The church needs authority just as much as Paul needed a tank of gasoline in case he should be given a Buick to drive.