gsp Thoughts From A Diva: 8/14/05 - 8/21/05

Thoughts From A Diva

Random images and thoughts from a misplaced Minnesota Diva trying to survive in Wisconsin.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

About Me...Because I Am Bored Silly...

Name: D'Arcy
Nickname: drc
Astrological sign: Aries
Age: 38
Height: 5'2"
Weight: 6 pounds less than 2 weeks ago
Occupation: Customer Service
Birthplace: Albany,Oregon
Marital status: Married, but not to the man I am living with!!!
How many children: 4
Do you drink (alcohol): YES, especially around the first weekend of August
Do you smoke: Nope
Favorite outdoor activities: Driving around
Favorite indoor activities: Bedsports
Favorite colors: Emerald Green
Favorite type of music: Country and 70's Rock
Favorite musical groups/performers: Montgomery Gentry, Led Zeppelin, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Alabama, Toby Keith
Favorite song at the moment: All Jacked Up by Gretchen Wilson
What's in your home CD/Casette player right now: Toby Keith, Honkytonk U
What's in you car CD/Casette player right now: Nothing
Do you play an instrument: Some guitar, some piano, some saxaphone
What kind of guitar do you play: Whatever
Have you ever gone skinny-dipping: Of course
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up: A racing jockey or horse trainer
What would be your dream job now: FEMA
Have you ever been convicted of a crime: Just misdemeanors  (Traffic Court)
Places you'd most like to visit: Australia, Ireland, Scotland, Wales
Your first car: 1980 Fiat - 4 door made in Libya
Dream car: Bright yellow Mini Cooper Convertible 5 speed
Car you Drive now: 1998 Dodge Stratus - Red
Favorite season: Spring
Favorite holiday: St Patrick's Day
Favorite hobbies: Surfing the internet, crosstitch, reading
Favorite sport to play: None
Favorite sport to watch: Football, AAA Baseball
Least favorite sport to watch: Boxing
Most humiliating moment: Walking into my office with my skirt stuck in my pantyhose.
Do you have any siblings: 2 older sisters and a big brother
Do you get along with your parents: Oh yeah..My mom is one of my best friends.
Favorite place to chill: Don't really have one right now
Favorite place to visit: Penny's House
What is your bad time of day:  Time to wake up
What is your good time of day: Mid-morning
Favorite flower/plant: Iris
Favorite subject in school: English
Least favorite subject in school: Math
Favorite authors: Louis L'Amour, John Grisham, Jonathan Kellerman
Favorite book genre: Historical, Vietnam Era
Favorite book: Too many to list
Current book I'm reading: Something about Marines during WWII
Favorite magazine: Cosmo, Oprah
Favorite movie of all time: Bull Durham
Other favorite movies: Blazing Saddles, Field of Dreams, Rocky Horror Picture Show
Favorite actors/actresses: Kevin Costner, John Wayne, Sandra Bullock, Ashley Judd
Favorite cartoon character: ???
Favorite food: Pizza
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Favorite alcoholic Drink: Windsor & Coke or straight Jose Cuervo out of the freezer
What is your bedtime: 10:00pm
Worst enemies: Chocolate
Interesting fact about your childhood: I have a hole in the back of my hand from a bike wreck when I was 8
The first thing you think of in the morning: Damn alarm clock
Favorite thing to do when you're home alone: Surf the net
Things that make you feel good: Friends...Hugs...Thoughts of certain people
Things you don't like: Patronizing people..Especially men, vegetables
Worst feeling in the world: Not knowing where my kids are
Scariest feeling in the world: The thought of Anthony in Iraq
Best feeling in the world: Knowing someone loves me
Do you get motion sickness: Nope
Roller Coasters - Deadly or Exciting: Deadly
Thunderstorms - Cool or Scary: Very Cool
Pen or Pencil: Depends on the day
Do you like to drive: Oh yeah...super fast
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: Only if you count Pat
Did you have imaginary friends or a blanket as a child: time for imaginary friends
What is on the walls of your room: Absolutely nothing
What words or phrases do you overuse: Crikey...Whatever..Fine
Coolest things anyone ever gave you: My mom gave me the books she was reading right before I was born. She had kept them all this time.
How would you characterize your political leanings: Democrat for the most part...but it depends on the issue
If you could pick one super-human power, what would you choose: mind reading

Favorite Quotes/Lyrics/Poems: "I believe in the Church of Baseball"

A day on the job....

A brother wrote this to his sister about his job:
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would, share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.  Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.  I wear a suit to the office.  It's a wet suit.  This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.  This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.  Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.  This floods my  whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.  Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.    Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.  The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.  Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.  However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.  I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.  His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.  Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.  So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job"