Shakira - Hips Dont Lie spoof

This is HYSTERICAL!!!!!

UPDATE: I don't want anyone thinking I don't like Shakira...She's a gorgeous woman that can move in unbelievable ways.

Wrong!

This is just wrong....I would've beat the hell out him!!

No misconceptions, you can always bank on the US | Emma Tom | The Australian

Holy cow! In Australia, if you are a sperm donor, you can be legally found by your offspring!

While individual states have their own laws governing assisted reproduction, there's been a nationwide trend to enact disclosure legislation enabling children to track down their biological parents, even if that parent's involvement in the conception was limited to a brief jiggle into a laboratory beaker.

And what is worse, is that if you have extra sperm laying around, it is illegal to sell it because that is the equivalent of selling children.

In Australia, buying and selling sperm is considered the same as trafficking human organs. Offenders face a maximum penalty of six months in jail and a $4400 fine.

Holy crap. Sperm. Little wiggly things. Unused jizz.

I think we are getting a little carried away with this Right To Life thing. I mean, I agree there are other ways to go (adoption is an awesome thing!!), but if woman wants to have a baby and a man wants to donate...what is the problem here? Good grief.

Inmate Has Victim's Name Tattooed on Him

Inmate Has Victim's Name Tattooed on Him

An inmate serving a life sentence for molesting and murdering a 10-year-old girl named Katie was apparently forcibly tattooed across the forehead by a fellow prisoner with the words "KATIE'S REVENGE," authorities say.

Seems pretty appropriate to me.

Douglass

For my College Writing 101 course today, we had to read a portion of Frederick Douglass' life story. Very cool reading. It was very interesting to read and I am thinking I will pick the whole book up to read. I think it is one I would rather own than check out from the library and hurry to read.

I had just a couple of thoughts about this text. I thought I would post them here rather then just forget about them. Might make for interesting reading at a later date.

1. He talks in one area about Irish-Catholic Emancipation. I am not sure what this is...so research is in order.

2. At another point, he meets up with some Irish dock workers. I wonder why he makes a point of stating that they are Irish. Would being English or German or French be different? Why not just "men" in general???

3. He also makes a wonderful note of how his grandmother was responsible for replenishing the slaves on the plantation. She had twelve children who all remained, plus their children and their children. Amazing concept to think of this woman as a brood mare of sorts.

4. In true horseman style, when the grandmother was too old to do anything for the plantation, incuding having more children, they simply gave her a place to live - all alone - in the middle of the woods. There she had to live on her own with no one to care for her or keep her company. Effectively putting her "out to pasture" so to speak. He does not say what happens to his grandmother, but the assumption is that she basically starved to death from lack of food and lack of love. To go from being in the center of the slave world, to being kicked out of it completely would kill almost anyone. How sad.

Democrat, Republican or Texan

Rob from GutRumbles would have loved this joke...

DEMOCRAT, REPUBLICAN OR TEXAN?

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Texan? Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following:

Question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Texan's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! (Click...sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click...

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

Wife: You ain't taking that to the taxidermist!

Quizzie

I stole this from Bonnie, who stole it from Sterling.

Q: WHAT MADE YOU SMILE YESTERDAY?
A: Watching Meghan try to fence at the Renaissane Festival. And we watched a show by the Tortuga Twins. Absolutely hysterical!!

Q: WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT 8 THIS MORNING?
A: I was still in the shower...Probably shaving my legs.

Q: WHAT WERE YOU DOING 15 MINUTES AGO?
A: Just leaving campus...I had French class, and then decided to skip my other classes today.

Q: SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU IN 1995?
A: I spent a week in the hospital with my 1 year old daughter. Almost lost her that week. She had horrible stomach flu and we didn't think she was going to make it. Awful.

Q: HOW MANY THINGS DID YOU DRINK TODAY?
A: Nothing yet

Q: WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR CHANGE?
A: In the drawer of my jewelry chest.

Q: BEST ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
A: Is there a bad one?

Q: SOMETHING YOU ARE EXCITED ABOUT?
A: Absolutely nothing at this point.

Q: WHAT SIZE SHOE DO YOU WEAR?
A: Depends on the shoe...7-1/2 or an 8

Q: DO YOU HAVE ANY SISTERS?
A: Yes...Both older than me.

Q: ARE YOU VERY RANDOM?
A: Not as much as I used to be.

Q: DO YOU WANT TO CUT YOUR HAIR?
A: Nope.

Q: ARE YOU OVER THE AGE OF 25?
A: By a long shot

Q: DO YOU TALK A LOT?
A: Constantly.

Q: DO YOU MAKE UP YOUR OWN WORDS?
A: Not usually...except for maybe cusswords

Q: ARE YOU TICKLISH?
A: Not really...Only certain people know where.

Q: ARE YOU TYPICALLY A JEALOUS PERSON?
A: No way. I think I have been jealous twice in my life.

Q: NAME A FRIEND WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH THE LETTER "J":
A: John...Actually he is a friend of a friend, but he is still a lot of fun!!

Q: WHAT DID THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECEIVED SAY?:
A: Are you having fun?

Q: DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
A: Nope.

Q: DO YOU HAVE CURLY HAIR?
A: Oh yeah...drives me nuts.

Q: WHAT IS THE NEXT CONCERT YOU'RE GOING TO?
A: Probably We-Fest again next year. We go every year. Doubt I go to any others this year. Well, maybe Thomas Martinez next June.

Q: WHO IS THE COOLEST PERSON IN YOUR LIFE?
A: Tim Kullman, professor of sociology.

Q: WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A: Eating cheese and crackers right now.

Q: WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU SAID TO SOMEONE, AND WHO WAS IT?
A: "Damn cat just farted on me again!" to Pat

Q: DO YOU WATCH TV?
A: Way more than I should

Q: HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO?
A: Once a long, long time ago.

Q: DO YOU HAVE WORK TOMORROW?
A: Nope...Only school tomorrow.

Q: EVER BEEN HUNTING?
A: Hunting for men count?

Q: IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
A: Good God, I hope not!!

Q: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID "I LOVE YOU" AND MEANT IT?
A: When I hung up with my Marine son yesterday. I try and tell him that every time I talk to him.

Q: WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING RIGHT NOW?
A: I should be in Sociology class listening to Tim rant about some random subject.

Q: DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
A: Not really

Q: DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
A: Oh, yes.

Q: YOUNGEST PERSON IN YOUR FAMILY?
A: Yes, I am the youngest of my parent's children. I have 2 older sisters and an older brother.

Q: IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
A: For the most part, I have to say yes. But medical marijuana should be legal for those that need it.

Q: ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
A: Not usually. Although lately, I have been sleeping better than ever.

Q: LAST TIME YOU USED A SKATEBOARD?
A: Never...I never had the balance for it.

Q: WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
A: Television is on, but not really listening to it.