gsp Thoughts From A Diva: 3/11/07 - 3/18/07

Thoughts From A Diva

Random images and thoughts from a misplaced Minnesota Diva trying to survive in Wisconsin.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007


Anthony called last night and was so mad he could barely talk. He had a pretty rough day yesterday. They had run a PFT on Monday and apparently several members of his platoon did not pass the PFT. So instead of just having those people re-run the PFT, the entire platoon has to re-do it when they get back off the ship in two weeks. Anthony doesn't mind the PFT so much, but he had one of his best scores ever and now that will not go on the books, the new score will.

But that news is nothing compare to what happened next.

He has two Staff Sergeants in his platoon. One he gets along with pretty well. The other one has short-timers disease.

The second SSgt pulled him aside yesterday and told him that after they get back off this Float in November, Anthony will be stateside for 3 months and then is going to Iraq. The SSgt told this same news to three other members of his platoon. They were not scheduled to go to Iraq with the squadron, but this SSgt told Anthony, "I am going to fuck the world before I get out!" He told Anthony that he just wanted to fuck somebody over and these four Marines were elected.

I am so mad I could spit nails!!

Needless to say, I did not sleep well last night. Dreamed of Anthony most of the night. Then I woke up with a nightmare of going to Lucas' funeral. Not good. This is going to be a rough year.

As far as I know, Lucas is still in MRP. I have not heard anything from him in two weeks.

I hate those whiny moms who say, "I can't stop crying." But today I guess I am going to be one of them. I know that none of this is set in stone and lots can change in 12 months. And I know I can't worry about things I cannot change. But for today, I need to be a whiny mom.

I miss my boys.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Super Bowl Party

Wanna see what I am like as a drunk?

Click here.

Good grief.

Sunday, March 11, 2007


I had a dream the other night about daffodils and Jesus. I know - that is a very strange thing for me to dream about. The dream even included a nun in blue and white.

Meghan was just a little girl of maybe four or five. We were at some kind of parade. There was all sorts of snow on the ground. Lots of snow. Piled deep along the parade route. And the road that the route was on was like that switchback road in San Francisco. Along the road, there was a large wagon or float pulled to the side. There were nuns on this float and walking all around it like a flock of birds. They had on very simple white garments with white aprons. Their blouses under the shirts were a very pretty light blue. Like those old Dutch girls in the paintings. Their wimples were white with a blue stripe like a head band. They hung straight down their backs like flowing hair.

ONe of the nuns came over to Meghan and placed a yellow daffodil in her hands. The nun surrounded Meghans hands with her own and said, "Let me tell you the story of Jesus and the daffodils." I then said I was upset because I didn't have a daffodil, all I had was this flower that looked like a chrysanthemum. She told me that was okay, it was the idea that mattered.

I never got to hear her tell the story of Jesus and the daffodil because I woke up from my dream. But it made me very curious.

So I called my dad.

I think my dad knows everything there is to know about everything. LOL! He probably doesn't, but don't spoil my fantasy!

When I asked Dad about Jesus and the daffodils, he knew nothing about it. So I looked on the internet. There I found that the daffodil is a symbol of rebirth and of the resurrection. It is also a flower associated with Narcissus.

Narcissus was a mythological figure that would spend his days beside a lake staring at his own beauty in the waters of the lake. One day he became so enamored of his reflection in the lake, that he fell into the lake and drowned. On the spot where he drowned a flower appeared; the flower we know as the narcissus or daffodil.

That was all very interesting, but I still didn't understand my dream. Life goes on and so did my day. I had a million other things to think about. I was leaving on a train trip the next day and had to make arrangements and pack and do all the hundreds of little things you do before you leave home for a week.

As I was headed out the door, I happened to spy a book a friend had given me several weeks ago, but I had never had the chance to read it. So I grabbed it thinking it would give me something to read along the way.

I started reading the book as soon as I sat down on the train. And something amazing occurred. The very first page of the book was all about Narcissus. It told the tale that I related above. I just couldn't believe the coincidence.

Then as I started to read the book, I realized that the book was all about omens and how life is made up of "coincidences." And we all have a choice in how to live our lives and which paths to take. It is a book that talks about finding more meaning in our lives and having more faith in nature and what nature intends for us. I would say what God has in store for us, but not everyone believes in the same God, which is another point of this book.

So now I am looking at my dream from a new perspective. I think it is telling me I am at some kind of crossroads and I have a decision to make. I just need to decipher what that decision is and how to make the correct decision. It may be a whole new road for me, or it may be that I need to look at my current road with a new eye.

I'm not sure of the outcome, but I know I will be doing a lot of soul-searching this Spring Break. A heckuva lot.