Vacation

I'm on vacation from my vacation for the next few days.

We have invaded We-Fester's house.

Since she is on dial-up (yuk!), posting will be very light.

Enjoy your weekend, and if I don't get back online, have a great Father's Day!

Diva Daughter

You can see from my daughter's first post that she really has a thing against smoking.

Gotta love that girl!

My Daughter

I have set my daughter up with her own blog.

 

She is only 10, but I thought she would have fun with it.

 

Everything's Jake

Jake had me just cracking up with his post about farting in his college dorm.

OMIGOD!! That is too funny!!!! I will be laughing for days just thinking about the guy running out the door with the headphones still attached to the stereo!!!

Safe Sex

Kim over at GirlyDyke has a great post about safe sex for lesbians.

But I think the guys need to read it, too. There is such a thing as getting an STD via oral sex. Both giving and receiving.

Best to keep your mind open, huh?

Damn Dog

On Monday afternoon, we went out to the lake south of town.

 

On the way back, we found a small black dog running down the middle of the road.  There was nothing around that area except cornfields.

 

We stopped and picked up the dog, gave it some water and took it home with us.

 

I have put an ad in the paper and have called the Humane Society.  I am hoping someone will want this dog back.  It has tags on it, but they are from Montana.  That’s a long way to travel for a little dog.

 

The first night he was here, it was pretty quiet.  He didn’t make much noise, and was pretty laid back.  I think he was exhausted.

 

Last night was a different story.  He woke me (and the rest of the house) up at 4:15 this morning – howling.  And he did it not once, not twice, but three times before I decided to stay up.

 

Have I mentioned that I cannot stand dogs? Neither can my cats.

 

So this morning, I am calling the Humane Society again.  The dog is leaving today.

 

He is a nice enough dog, but I am not a dog person.  He doesn’t chew on things, he is house-trained.  But I like my cats.

 

I don’t have to walk my cats.  Or listen to them howl.

 

Yep, cats are way better than dogs.

 

Brain Usage

Your Brain Usage Profile:

Auditory : 50%
Visual : 50%
Left : 63%
Right : 36%

No matter which side of your brain is dominant, M i n d W a r e
can strengthen your emotional brain power by helping you understand how
you feel about yourself.

D'Arcy, you are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant with a balanced preference for auditory and visual inputs. Because of your "centrist" tendencies, the distinctions between various types of brain usage are somewhat blurred.

Your tendency to be organized and logical and attend to details is reasonably well-established which should afford you success regardless of your chosen field of endeavor, unless it requires total spontaneity and ability to improvise, your weaker traits. However, you are far from rigid or overcontrolled. You possess a degree of individuality, perceptiveness, and trust in your intuition to function at much more sophisticated levels than most.

Having given sufficient attention to detail, you can readily perceive the larger aspects and implications of a situation or of learning. You are functional and practical, but can blend abstraction and theory into your framework readily.

The equivalence of your auditory and visual learning orientation gives you two equally effective sensory input systems, each with distinctive features. You can process both unidimensionally and multidimen- sionally with equal facility. When needed, you sequence material while at other times you "intake it all" and store it for processing later.

Your natural ability to use your senses is also synthesized in your way of learning. You can be reflective in your approach, absorbing material in a non-aggressive manner, and at other times voracious in seeking out stimulation and experience.

Overall you tend to be somewhat more critical of yourself than is necessary and avoid enjoying life too much because of a sense of duty. You feel somewhat constrained and tend to sometimes restrict your expressiveness. In any given situation, you will opt for the rational, and learning of almost any type should be easy for you. You might need certain ideas explained to you in order to fit them into your scheme of things, but you're at least open to that!

 

TV Tuesday

TV Tuesday

Since Father's Day is this Sunday I thought this week would be a good chance to explore TV Dads! TV Moms got their chance and now it's Dad's turn! So in honor of all those hard working and lovable dads out there, this one's for you! :)

1. Which TV Dad would you have most liked to have for your own dad? On the flipside, who was the TV Dad you'd have least liked to have had?

I would have liked to have Dan Connor from Roseanne as Dad. He was pretty close to my own dad.
The one I would have liked least is Bill Cosby. He drove me nuts.

2. Who do you consider the most realistic TV Dad? Who did you consider simply too good to be true?

The dad off 7th Heaven. My dad was a minister, and nothing like that man.

3. Let's play a little Dad word association, what's the first word that comes to mind when you see the following names:

George Jetson :: Bubble Jet
Cliff Huxtable :: Barf
Dan Conner :: Teddy Bear
Gomez Addams :: Fun
Archie Bunker :: Asshole
Jed Clampett :: Let me tell you a story about a man named Jed...
Ward Cleaver :: Beaver Cleaver (HeeHee)
Tony Micelli :: Oh puhleeze!
Ozzie Nelson :: I want his son
Homer Simpson :: Doh!

~BONUS~ Use the letters F-A-T-H-E-R-S D-A-Y to describe your own dad!
Fearless
Achiever
Talker
Hugger
Emphatic
Reverend
Son
Dad
Athletic
Youthful

Euro 2004

For some reason, this made me think of Andy.

Tuesday is Chooseday

Either leave your answers or a link to your webpage with your responses.

Would you rather:
1. all your toenails rot and fall off OR grow a thick, bushy coat of back hair?
Lose my toenails. I hate my toes anyway.

2. have the psychic ability to hear other people's thoughts but be unable to turn it off OR the psychic ability to transmit your thoughts to everyone within a mile, but again you can't turn it off?
Hear other people. I don’t want everyone to know what I am thinking!!

3. watch richard simmons and susan powter get it on OR oprah and dr. phil?
Eeeewwwww!!!!!! I would have to go with Richard and Susan. It would be easier to laugh it off. I would just want to beat Phil.

4. find a cure for cancer, but be ridiculed for it for 20 years before it was accepted OR find a cure for cancer and be considered a hero for 5 years, only for the public to find out it was a hoax
Find a real cure. Even if I was ridiculed for 20 years. At least it would help people in the end.

Thank You

Thank you to everyone that left comments on my Pity Party post.

 

I am feeling better.  Asshole and I had a talk last night.

 

He finally let me in on what was bothering him and it wasn’t me.  I was just the nearest most trusted target.  He couldn’t yell at the person he wanted to yell at, so he yelled at me.

 

He apologized and things are better.

 

I told him he can’t keep his feelings inside like that.  If he is going to yell at me about stuff like that, he needs to let me know it isn’t directed at me.  That is part of being in a relationship.  You need to be a sounding board.

 

So, hopefully, things will improve for a while.

 

Thanks again!

 

Stuff

There is a ton of stuff I was going to write tonight.

 

Then I decided no one would want to hear it anyway.  It’s all pretty depressing.  And a major pity party.

 

So I simply changed my picture and deleted everything I was going to say.

 

Hope you all have a good night.

 

I will write again when I feel better about me.

 

Mail Call

Subject: growing up in a small town

 

Those of us who grew up in a small town will laugh when we read this. Those of you who didn't will be in disbelief...but trust me, every one of these are true.

 

1) You can name everyone you graduated with.

2) You know what 4-H & FFA are.

3) You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, or in the middle of a dirt road. On Monday you could always tell who was at the party because of the scratches on their legs from running through the woods when the party was busted,  (see #6.)

4) You used to "drag" main.

5) You said the "F" word and your parents knew within the hour.

6) You scheduled parties around the schedule of different sheriff/officers, since you know which ones would bust you! and which ones wouldn't.

7) You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough they'd tell your parents anyhow).

8) When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes you still had to go out into the country and  drive on back roads to smoke them.

9) It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.

10) The whole school went to the same party after graduation.

11) You don't give directions by street names or directions but by references.  (Turn by Nelson's house, go 2 blocks east to Cooper's, and it's four houses left of the track.)

12) The golf course had only 9 holes.

13) You can't help but date a friend's ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.

14) Your car stays filthy because of the dirt roads and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.

15) The town next to you is considered "trashy" or "snooty", but, is actually just like your town.

16) You refer anyone with a house newer then 10 years as the "rich people"

17) The people in the "big city" dress funny, but  then you pick up the trend two years later.

18) Anyone you want can be found at the local cafe or elevator.

19) You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town or one of your friends drives a grain truck to school occasionally.

20) The gym teacher suggest you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.

21) Directions are given using the old filling station as a reference.

22) You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask you if you want a ride.

23) Your teachers call you by your older sibling's names.

24) Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.

25) You can charge at all the local stores or write checks without any ID.

26) The closest McDonalds is 45 miles away (or more).

27) The closest mall is over an hour away.

28) It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower.

29) You've peed in a wheat field or a cornfield.

30) Most people go by a nickname.

31) You laugh reading this because you know it is all true and you  forward it to everyone who lives in your town (because you know them all!)

 

Mail Call

A man died and went to heaven.

As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

 

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

 

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

 

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

 

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

 

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock.  The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

 

"Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.

 

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

 

Disgust

I hate him.  I really do.

 

I can do nothing right.  He rarely yells at me.  And he has never hit me.

 

But I am so sick of being made to feel like everything that goes wrong, no matter how minor, is my fault.

 

Today, we are sitting here.  Well, I am sitting.  He is lying on the couch.  Watching golf.  Of course.

 

He starts to snore. Suddenly. Buttboy and his friend go banging out the front door.  They wake him up.

 

My fault.

 

He goes back to sleep.

 

I change the channel and start playing the Xbox.

 

Brat calls me on the walkie – like she is supposed to – and wakes him up.

 

My fault.

 

Doubly my fault because he now realizes I have changed the channel.

 

He won’t even speak to me at this point.  I asked him if he wanted to watch his golf, he gets up, bangs his way into the bedroom and is now taking a shower.

 

I am so tired of everything being my fault.  We had been doing so well.  No major problems.

 

Then yesterday, he just started acting like I am some kind of idiot.

 

I really need to get out of here.  If I had $40, I would be on my way to We-Fester’s house.  At least then he couldn’t bitch at me anymore.

 

Test

This is a test.

Golf

In my house, we watch a lot of golf.

 

We not only watch it on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, we also watch it during the week and at night.

 

You see, we have The Golf Channel.  Barf.

 

We even play golf on our Xbox. In fact, we have 3 different golf games for our Xbox.

 

You would think I like golf.  You would be wrong.  I actually cannot stand golf.  Playing it on the Xbox isn’t bad, but it is still golf.

 

Asshole loves golf.  Plays in real life, too.  I can’t even swing a club.

 

Several years ago (7 to be exact), I got really sick and wasn’t allowed to leave my bed for 6 weeks.  So, I watched golf for 6 weeks.  That was the first year that Tiger Woods won the Masters.  I learned a lot about golf.  Made myself learn it because Asshole liked it.

 

Now, it drives me nuts every time I look at the television and golf is on it.

 

I need to buy another TV.

 

This is a picture of my boys. It was taken about 14 years ago. 

Big Five Test

Stolen from ScoobySnax

Big Five Test Results

Extroversion (82%) high which suggests you are very talkative, optimistic, sociable and affectionate but possibly not very internally grounded. Friendliness (84%) very high which suggests you are extremely good natured, trusting, and helpful but probably too agreeable Orderliness (56%) moderately high which suggests you are organized, reliable, neat, and ambitious but possibly not very spontaneous and fun. Emotional Stability (64%) moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, unemotional but possibly too unobservant of your feelings. Openmindedness (66%) moderately high which suggests you are intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.

Take Free Big Five Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com