gsp Thoughts From A Diva: 8/31/03 - 9/7/03

Thoughts From A Diva

Random images and thoughts from a misplaced Minnesota Diva trying to survive in Wisconsin.

Saturday, September 06, 2003

My First Job

I've been thinking about the first real job I ever had. I mean I had babysitting jobs and lawn-mowing jobs, but I don't count those.

My first job was when I was 13. I worked for a small clothing store called Mode O' Day. I didn't get paid cash, but I got to earn any of the clothes I wanted. from that point on, I never asked my parents for any clothing.

I would help the owner unpack and hang up all the clothes.

I really enjoyed that job. Amazing, I didn't have another job in retail until almost 20 years later. And I truly enjoyed it, too.

Where were you on 9/11?

This was something I posted on my old blog a week or so again, but I thought it was worth re-posting here.


I was in my bedroom in Stacy, MN. P was with me and we were getting everybody up and ready for the day. Suddenly, L knocked on the door and said a plane just his the WTC.

My first thought was a small plane like a Cessna. No big deal. Some idiot just lost control. Then Lucas knocked again and said it was really bad. The building was on fire.

At that point, P & I went into the living room to see what was goin on. I can clearly remember the feeling of horror I felt watching those towers fall.

When the first one fell, I started to cry. when the second one fell, I was inconsolable. P just stood there with his arms around me.

I can remember all three kids asking me what it meant. I didn't know what to tell them. Just that it had to be a terribe accident. It was definitely a tragedy.

For the next couple of weeks, I had to drive from Stacy to Owatonna, through the Twin Cities. It was so spooky driving through the city and not seeing any aircraft. Sometimes I would see a military jet, but mostly the skies were empty.

I will never forget that as long as I live. There are a few memories I have like that. Days that will live in my mind forever.

The day the Hostages were released from Iran. I was in the 7th grade and onstage during drama class rehearsing a play. They let school out for the day.

The day Diana was killed. I was sitting alone in my living room in Carson City, NV. I was watching some stupid movie when they cut into it and told us she was killed. I can remember just crying for hours.

The day of the big earthquake in Northridge, CA. I was working at the sugar plant in Nyssa, OR. I was standing in the lab listening to the World Series when the quake happened. Scary stuff.

Amazing what you remember, isn't it? What will my kids remember? I hope they remember more enjoyable things


Here's the thing - I like tattoos. I have three of them. And in the spring, I will have another one. (You promised, PS, that we could both get one!).

But I have had a long-standing rule not to get any names on my body. And I try to talk people out of it every time. Now Billy Bob knows why.

I got my first tattoo in Millington, TN. I was in the Navy and went with 2 buddies (Marines) to the local tattoo parlor. I was not going to get one. I was along for moral support. We started looking around for tats we liked. Finally, B said he wanted the Marine Bulldog. I told them that if they could find a sparrow, that I would get one, too.

Damed, if they didn't find one!

So, we all traveled out to the trailer for the tattoos. (See, in those days, tattooing was illegal within city limits. You went to the shop in town, picked out what you liked, then they drove you outside city limits to a mobile home/trailer for the actual tattooing.)

I put on this itty bitty tube top and sat backwards on a chair for 45 minutes while this guy tattooed my back. I only paid $65 for a tattoo that should have cost well over $100 because it was late and I flashed my boobs.

My second tattoo I received in Reno, NV. I had gone to Carson City, NV, to look for a new job and place to live. One of my friends from Oregon went with me for moral support. While we were there, we decided to get tattoos to commemorate the event.

She got a beautiful purple rose on her right ankle. I got a hummingbird on my left ankle. Plus, I got to date the tattoo artist for about 4 months!

That one cost me $85.

My third one I got in Detroit Lakes, MN. It is my favorite. It was my Mother's Day present to myself.

It is two hummingbirds circling each other on my right shoulder.

That one cost $120.

My next one is a design that PS and I will design ourselves to show our friendship. We are getting them on our boobs.

I can hardly wait!

FDA Approves New Birth Control Pill (

I don't need this, but I want it.

Man Is Killed in Ride Accident at Disneyland

Man Is Killed in Ride Accident at Disneyland

And people wonder why I don't ride roller coasters?

Friday, September 05, 2003

My Past Is Coming Back to Haunt Me

19 years, 1 month and 3 days ago, I released my little girl for adoption.

I was 17 years old and a Junior in high school. I had no interest in being a parent, nor did I have the patience or funds to take care of a child. I decided the best decision would be to release her for adoption.

I lived in a foster home for about the last 3-4 months of the pregnancy. I can't say I enjoyed my time there. But I did enjoy being pregnant. I was still attending high school and even went to the last dance of the year dressed in a toga. I was 7 months pregnant at the time.

One morning, I woke up early just not feeling quite right. I went out and fed and watered the horses, then went inside and showered and shaved my legs. Why did I shave my legs? Who knows!

My foster-mom drove me to the hospital and L was born a few hours later. She was the most beautiful baby in the world. I spent 3 glorious days in the hospital with her. I could have been released from the hospital before that, but since I was releaseing her, they let me stay with her.

I held her and cuddled her and loved her as much as I possibly could. Then, the day came I had to let go. I dressed her in a cute pink outfit my mother had brought for her. I wrapped her in a blanket that my grandmother had made. I said goodbye and turned and walked away from her. I could barely see because of the tears.

I don't remember the ride home or much of the next few weeks. It broke my heart to leave her there, but I knew it was for the best. She was a beautiful baby. I also know they changed her name to R.

2 years later, I had my son A. 1 year after that, I had my son L. 6 years after that, I had my second daughter, M.

This afternoon, I came home from work and found a letter waiting for me. It seems L has contacted the agency trying to locate me. I have kept them updated as to where I am at all times. So it was very easy for them to find me.

Now, I have to decide if I am ready to meet her again. I am nervous, excited, scared, jubilant. And damn near tears.

My oldest daughter wants to meet me. Am I ready? I don't know.


I am trying to figure out how to do comments on this blog. Kind of strange.

I feel so old

This is scary.

I graduated high school in 1985.

Thursday, September 04, 2003


I love football. Next to baseball, it is my favorite sport to watch and play.

Today was season kickoff. Did everyone get to see Aretha Franklin sing the Star Spangled Banner? Totally Awesome!! She made you feel each and every word. I had goosebumps.

I'm so glad football season is here.

Great Joke

Feces Flinging Monkey

This is a great joke.

Welcome to my new blog!

I have been blogging at, but I have found blogger is much easier to use.

I am looking forward to talking to everyone!